


A Day Off

by DarkMoonMaiden



Category: Funhaus (Video Blogging RPF), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Bank Robbery, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hostage Situations, Humor, mild violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-19 10:30:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20208271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkMoonMaiden/pseuds/DarkMoonMaiden
Summary: Elyse just wanted a nice, easy day of threatening Fakehaus’ banker into submission. So of course she ends up as a hostage for a new crew in town.She doesn’t have the patience for this.





	A Day Off

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I’m currently traveling abroad, so of course I’m up at midnight and writing fanfiction as jetlag continues to suck the life out of me. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

It was supposed to be her vacation.

Elyse had been working hard on damage control after her crew’s disastrous attempt to rob a store. It had ended with half the building exploding, one of their hideouts being exposed, Adam in the hospital, and a solid million dollars to split between the entire crew. It wasn’t their best haul, and left a lot of loose ends to tie up. 

Their man in the bank had been getting antsy, and was beginning to act weirder since the last incident. So Elyse—the most innocent looking and civil of the group (Alanah had almost been sent, but she was too trigger-happy, and they needed to at least  _ try _ and be civil with him before actually beating him into submission)—had been sent to speak to him and figure out what he was up to. The last thing they needed was their banker ratting them out to the police.

Lounging in the waiting area, she scrolled through her phone and waited for her appointment with the banker. She was too lost in thought to fully notice the men in animal masks and tactical gear until they were firing warning shots in the air and people were screaming. 

Elyse hit the ground with everyone else, trying to act fearful as she mentally cursed her bad luck. Of course. Of  _ course  _ the one day she’s supposed to have it easy, just rough up a guy and then call it a day, she’s stuck in the middle of a  _ bank robbery.  _

She didn’t recognize any of the men’s outfits or their voices, but she had heard rumors of a new group trying to make their name in Los Santos. They hadn’t been more than a blip on Fakehaus’ radar, but after this Elyse vowed to look more into it. Robbing a bank, so close to their territory? Not to mention the bank with  _ their  _ banker? It wasn’t gonna fly. 

Until then, though, Elyse had to just wait this out. Her face wasn’t as out there as her husband’s or Adam’s or Bruce’s, but she still tilted her head towards the floor. There was no reason to attract unwanted attention—

“You.”

Elyse blinked and looked up slowly. One of the masked men was pointing the barrel of his gun into her face.

“Get up.”

Well, shit.

He reached down and grabbed the back of her sweater to yank her to her feet. Elyse stumbled, biting back a yelp, and barely got her footing before she was being dragged across the polished floor and towards the vault. She was held in front of her captor with a muscled arm around her throat. She silently fumed at the treatment, but kept her face impassive as they dragged her along. 

It all felt so  _ rote  _ as she was dragged in front of her captor with a gun to her head. Admittedly, it usually wasn’t  _ her  _ as the hostage, but the barked words at everyone to stay down and the sounds of the vault being pried open were so familiar she had them in her dreams. But after awhile, she couldn’t help but notice that they were more...on edge than she would’ve expected. One of them was practically jumping at every shadow, and nearly shot a cowering bank clerk when he shot a spray of bullets with no aim. 

They were waiting for something.

And that something was quick to show up. 

Elyse didn’t have an answer as to how Mogar and the Vagabond had snuck into the vault (nor how long they were sitting there, and that thought was enough to make her snort in misplaced laughter), but they were there and ready as soon as the heavy door swung open. 

Mogar’s bat flew through the air and caught the first man on the side of his head, sending him crumpling to the ground. There was chaos as Vagabond darted forward, his machete sliding easily into the second man’s throat. 

“D-don’t move!” the man behind Elyse screeched, making her wince. He wound his arm tighter around her neck and pointed the gun at Vagabond, who was the closest of the two Fakes and was closing the vault door, trapping them in. “If you fucking move, I’ll blow her brains out!”

That wasn’t gonna happen. Elyse’s patience was already long gone, and she decided she was  _ done  _ acting like she couldn’t take care of herself.

All it took was a quick tap of her heel against his groin and her captor was shying away from her, shrieking in pain. Elyse snagged his gun with one hand and was quick to incapacitate him with a bullet into each kneecap and another in the head. 

Elyse didn’t take kindly to being treated like an expendable object. 

The two remaining men stared at her, and she shrugged her shoulders as she wiped the blood and fingerprints from the gun and placing it at her feet. 

“I don’t want any trouble,” she said slowly, putting her hands up.

They were interrupted by banging on the vault door. There was distant gunfire and muffled shouting. 

“The cops are here,” Mogar cursed. “Let’s hurry up.”

Elyse was ready to simply duck back into the corner and pretend to be another hostage, but the Vagabond ruined any chance of that happening by grabbing her arm with a bloodied hand. 

“You’re coming,” Vagabond said shortly.

Elyse opened her mouth indignantly, but the brandished knife didn’t exactly leave her with any options. 

They had apparently been in the vault long enough to tunnel up from underground, and Vagabond forced her down the ladder after Mogar, threatening her with the knife the entire time. 

She wasn’t really certain why the Vagabond had grabbed her—maybe he’d recognized her? No, he or Mogar would’ve said something. Did he think she was an  _ accomplice _ ? She was supposed to a regular civilian, but she couldn’t deny that her blasé attitude might have raised some red flags. 

But that didn’t mean she appreciated being dragged through back entrances by the man, forced to duck behind trash bins and parked cars when the police would come rushing by. After only a few blocks, the Vagabond yanked her around another corner (she could already feel the bruises forming, and they were going to be a  _ bitch  _ to explain to James and the others) before tossing her to the side. She bit back a squawk of surprise, nearly falling on her ass before catching herself against the side of the alleyway. 

“What the fuck is this?” 

Elyse glanced up through her hair to see two forms standing in front of a van and a motorcycle. Jack Pattillo was easily recognizable in her Hawaiian-print shirt and fiery bob, but if Geoff Ramsey hadn’t spoken, she wouldn’t have been able to recognize him under the mask. 

“I told you to bring me the head of the group, not some  _ random  _ lady,” Geoff seethed. 

“She was being held  _ hostage _ ,” the Vagabond growled out, startling Elyse. “Broke away from them just as we came out. But it all seemed too convenient.”

Elyse rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it out of her face. She’d never really appreciated the insanely paranoid type, and it seemed Vagabond was shaping up to be just one of those. 

As the Vagabond was talking to Geoff, she saw that recognition had flashed in Jack’s eyes, but Elyse took the moment to take stock of herself. Her cardigan was already a lost cause, and Elyse took it off before using it to wipe the blood off her hands, quietly mourning it; she’d worn the pastel yellow sweater to  _ specifically  _ deter herself from spilling blood. 

“Can I borrow someone’s phone?” she asked casually, ignoring the gun Jack whipped out and aimed at her head as Elyse threw the sweater into the trash.

No one moved. Jack’s eyes were wary, but Geoff and Vagabond’s faces were still covered with masks, making it impossible to tell what they were thinking. While logic told Elyse they wouldn’t attack her without provocation, the safety was still off of Jack’s gun, and she’d seen Vagabond slit people’s throats with the same unreadable mask. 

Finally, Geoff stepped forward. He pulled his mask off and smirked lazily at her, hair sticking every which way. She could see the underlying tension in the crow’s feet around his eyes. 

“Elyse,” he greeted. 

She tilted her head. “Geoff.”

“I heard about that mess with the LSPD last week. Good job.”

“How’s your leg doing? Maybe if I break it again they’ll set it right this time.”

The tension rose in the room as Geoff and Elyse stared each other down. Jack’s gun hadn’t wavered, and Ryan was toying with one of the knives on his belt. The mood was broken when Geoff snorted and broke into guffaws. 

“Jesus Christ,” he giggled, wiping tears from his eyes. “You’re always gonna be my favorite. The funniest goddamn person in this whole city.”

A ghost of a smirk touched Elyse’s cheeks. She’d forgotten how much she liked Geoff. James and him often butted heads, but she had decided long ago she was bored with that sort of attitude, and became something akin to friends with the tattood man as they commiserated over their separate bands of idiots. 

He stood up and wiped the tears from his eyes, still giggling as he checked his phone. “The boys still have the cops running ‘round on the other side of town, so you have plenty of time to tell us what the hell’s going on,” he said. 

“I think I know less than you do,” Elyse responded honestly with a shrug. “ _ They _ barely knew what they were doing. I was going to talk with our banker when they started shooting up the place, and then they used me as a hostage to get to the vault.”

“Hostage?!” Geoff wheezed, now bent over with renewed laughter. “ _ They took you hostage _ ?” 

“They didn’t do their research before moving into town,” Elyse said sagely. Jack scoffed loudly, running her hand over her face. “You don’t have to laugh  _ that  _ hard. And how did you know to have Mogar and Vagabond waiting for them?”

This time it was Jack who answered, looking reluctant to do so. 

“They thought it’d be a good idea to steal our heist info and use it for themselves,” she said, ignoring Vagabond’s disbelieving sound that she was so willing to offer up the information. “Obviously, they didn’t think it through, on multiple instances.”

“Morons,” Elyse said in disbelief, even as she tucked that bit of information away for later (the bank was unofficially Fakehaus’, and maybe it was time to find a different place, or make it official). Jack snorted and nodded in agreement.

Jack’s head tilted to the side, listening into her earpiece. Elyse could hear a tinny voice quickly explaining something before Jack tapped twice in acknowledgement. 

“Geoff, we should get going,” Jack told the still laughing man. “They’re starting to comb the area.”

“Alright, alright,” Geoff said, sobering up quickly as he wiped away tears of mirth. “ _ God _ , that’s funny though. If I didn’t know Adam and James were gonna have a cow, it’d be even funnier.”

“I don’t think that’s possible, judging from how you were laughing earlier.”

“Shut up, Jack. Give ‘er your bike, Vagabond.”

Ryan’s head snapped to Geoff as he was suddenly called into the conversation, having blended in with the background (as much as a masked criminal could) as he silently steamed at not having any idea of how to deal with this new person. He made a sound of disbelief. 

“You  _ can’t _ be serious,” he spoke finally, voice gravelly and low.

“For fuck’s sake, just let her take the bike,” Geoff snapped back. “We don’t have time for your whining, the cops’ll be here any minute.”

“And how am I supposed to get away without the  _ bike? _ ”

“You’ll ride in the van with us, dickhead. And it’s not like you weren’t gonna ditch it in five minutes anyway.”

He angrily stepped away from the bike, tossing the helmet towards Elyse with no warning and more irritation than necessary. She caught it with ease, mildly surprising everyone besides Geoff, and tugged it on before throwing a leg over the bike. Even from her distance from the group, she could hear loud, angry voices filtering from their earpieces. Jack finally took hers out and stuffed it in her pocket, grumbling to herself as she climbed into the driver’s seat of the nondescript car. 

“I’m sure Adam or Bruce will call you later tonight,” Elyse said as the engine roared to life. “Don’t leak any more bank heist information that has ties to us.”

“Fuck you, too, Elyse.”

She gave him a friendly wave that was returned before smoothly leaving the alleyway, carefully following the traffic laws as police sirens wailed in the distance.

***

“Just what we need,” Geoff sighed, running a hand over his face tiredly. “James is gonna go berserk, so that’s  _ another _ crew we gotta deal with. What happened to the days where we were unchallenged, huh? What happened to that?”

Jack snorted and rolled her eyes as she put her earpiece back in, knowing that leaving the children unattended for more than a few minutes would result in disaster. 

“Just because you didn’t know about it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen,” she muttered under her breath. Geoff didn’t have a chance to respond as the sirens abruptly grew louder, and then they were being tailed by an eagle-eyed cop. 

“ _ Are you done ignoring us now _ ?” Gavin’s furious voice broke out from their earpieces. “ _ Who was that bird you were talking to? Jack, why the  _ hell  _ did you tell a civilian so much?!” _

“Because Elyse isn’t a civilian, you idiot,” Jack snapped back. 

“ _ Wait _ .” Jeremy’s frantic voice broke through the static. “ _ That was Elyse _ Willems? Fakehaus?”

“ _ Who’s in Fakehaus? _ ” Michael could be heard in the background. 

“ _ The blond you were telling me about. _ ”

_ “No way. There’s gotta be some other Elyse _ .”

Jack and Geoff shares an incredulous look. “What other Elyse in Los Santos would be so chummy with Geoff?” she asked in disbelief as Geoff pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of  _ course _ it’s Elyse Willems.”

“I’m gonna have Sarah make a fucking PowerPoint of the most important people in Los Santos, because apparently you fucks don’t know anything.”

Jeremy was spluttering. “ _ And we just let her go? I don’t know, shouldn’t we— _ “

“No,” Geoff and Jack said firmly. 

“She might’ve been playing nice right now, but she can handle herself,” Jack said as she sharply took a corner. “And the last thing we want is her crew after us.”

“Already have our hands full with these new morons,” Geoff grumbled as Ryan leaned out the window and fired a spray of bullets at their pursuer. Louder, he said, “Meet back at the penthouse after you’ve shaken the cops. We have some shit to deal with.”

**Author's Note:**

> Pls excuse any formatting errors—this is my first time trying to post a fic from my phone and I have no idea what I’m doing :”””))
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! Comments/kudos are very much appreciated!


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